There are some things that I thought were going to be big issues in life, which turned out to be, well not so much...
For instance: Piranhas, quicksand, The Bermuda Triangle, spontaneous human combustion.
I can remember as a child being significantly concerned about the random locations of quicksand I may run into, and once caught in that mire, what kinds of body movements could be detrimental to escaping such a calamitous situation. I entered into most forested areas with these thoughts lightly pinging at the back of my mind. After all, if it came into play on Gilligan's Island, Jonny Quest and Scooby Doo, let's face it, we should all be wary about quicksand no matter where we live. I thought, there would be giant signs warning us of these dangers, but I never saw any. Which should have encouraged me to think that is was less of a problem, but it only reinforced the idea that they were well-hidden. These death-inducing hazards were everywhere, but no one lived to tell of their whereabouts.
I'm now into my 60's and none of the "big four" listed above, have been a big problem.
In fact, they have been no problem at all. (sigh of relief) 😊
This set me thinking about the things in life which HAVE been a problem.
What I've realized is that there are some things I feel...And there are some things I know.
Letting go of what I feel
in exchange for the truth that I know, or have discovered in Christ has been the
great exercise of "growing up" in my life and I believe it always will be.
Paul wrote this in Romans 7:15 (The Message) "What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise."
What an incredibly honest assessment of his situation.
No mincing of words. No effort to shade it in a way that sounds better.
Straight-up vulnerability.
He describes his own actions at times as something he......despises.
How often do we hear that kind of truth?
So, I have put the fears I mentioned at the outset of this writing into a box of things labeled "lies".
Because when I'm trying to be as honest as I can about my failures as a father, husband, brother or friend I find myself identifying with the statement Paul made above. AND this is my way of agreeing with him, by saying,
"The greatest problem or hindrance to my emotional/spiritual growth as a human has been...me."
This is not a statement of self-loathing, it's just pragmatism.
No one else and no other thing has waylaid me, kept me from my potential in a certain
moment like I have. I'm not a victim of circumstance or upbringing.
When I have been less than I could have been or should have been,
it has been because of my own choices.
There's a truth that lives and grows in me, through the work of the Holy Spirit.
When I listen to that truth and choose to follow, I grow.
I become...the more.
When I do not,
I become...the lesser.
We can call it whatever we want.
Consecration.
Surrender.
Centered down.
Sanctified.
But, it follows closely to my corresponding choices.
As one who has been chosen,
I am making a choice...to follow.
I think it's the best way to stay out of the quicksand. :)
